Day 163

Today is the last day. Last night I was exhausted but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about leaving. Yesterday someone said I didn't look Chilean...that I looked Italian. I loved it. And I have to be somewhat OK at speaking the language because a lot less people look at me weird when I say something to them, they just keep talking, which is a good sign right? Plus I've gotten through half of my book that's in Italian...although maybe the fact that it's about the Mafia gives me away when people see what I'm reading. But I understand it.

I feel as though Rome has seeped into my skin, little by little. Like when I say Rome, I still think it's half way across the world, far away. But then after a few seconds I can feel that it has slowly changed for me. I've gotten to know it, I've discovered more of Rome's secrets.

Italians aren't breakfast people. They can go without eating in the mornings, but not without their coffee. Their tiny little espressos. In Rome you can basically park however you want as long as it fits and as long as you can get out later. Whether other people can or can't doesn't matter. Also, you know you're in all the way in the space when your car hits the other car- not before. Another thing, that I'm not too fond about actually is that restaurants charge you to sit down. Then they charge you for the bread they bring to the table without asking. I'd rather leave a tip.

There are 15 obelisks in Rome, more than 900 bridges, thousands of statues and 39 monumental fountains in Rome, all fed by an amazing (and old) aqueduct system. The water is always running in the streets here. Hot water is a different story. You have to make sure enough is heated before taking showers...although that hasn't been necessary for a while because it is SO HOT during the summer. Which doesn't help the stink of public transportation. Plus the bugs, who have been eating me alive by the way. Even Italians try and escape the heat in the summer...everything closes in August for at least a few weeks. It seems like that would almost be impossible to do in our society today, but as far functioning in this heat, they've got the right idea-you can't.

Let's see...The sirens never go away. In Positano the ambulance sounds were replaced by the buses honking their horns when on the curves of the cliffs, to let the cars coming in the other direction know they're there. But here in Rome it's always the ambulances. I don't even mind it really...it's become my soundtrack.

One of my favorites are the window shades. Integrated into all the buildings are these shades you can roll down. I'm sure they're for security, as well as privacy...but they double as blackout curtains. I've slept in a little later than usual a few times thanks to those.

And Italians. Italians are wonderful, happy, passionate people, who love to live. They love good food. Pasta and pizza are not just for show. They eat pasta almost always at least once a day and pizza once a week- The Italian Diet. They love being with people, and seeing beautiful things; il dolce far niente. They are passionate, but they are private too. They like their space. They like to do things in their own way. They're not aggressive, but when they get mad or frustrated, they are not afraid to show it. I was at the pizzeria in Napoli and this poor Chinese girl really got it from one of the waiters there because she didn't understand the number system and he didn't know how to explain it. In came the famous Italian hand gestures.

So, I feel like Rome is more mine than before. I can tell people about it in a different way than a tourist could. I have lived here for the past 163 days. I have seen so much, and met so many absolutely amazing people...and lived, and learned. I have learned to do things for myself, to be a little selfish sometimes. To stand up for myself. I've learned to not care what people think and that I am much more disciplined than I thought. Setting goals is wonderful, but you have to be brave to actually do something about them.

I've learned how to cook and how to speak Italian. Those are the best ones.

I just hope I have given something back to this beautiful city. I am so grateful and fortunate to have been able to do all of this. I want to remember what it was like here and to take this energy with me to get through next semester. I admit I can't help but feel it slipping away a little. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

Last night Valerio, Maria, Flavia and I went out to dinner. I rode the motorcycle on the way there and back...and drove past the Colosseum to see it for the last time, lit up like that. It made my stomach do a loop. You think it will always be there?

I said goodbye to Maria. I'll see her when she comes to Chile. I repacked a few times while I listened to the free music outside my window from the summer concerts at Basilica San Paolo across the river. It was a little cooler last night too. A perfect summer night.

Now my room is empty. I don't know if they're going to let my ridiculously heavy bags on the plane. I'm making Valerio come into the airport with me just in case. I am worrying about the little things, but really I can't imagine what it will be like once I'm sitting in my seat in the sky. It doesn't necessarily feel like it's over though, or that it will be.

I will be back. There are still things I haven't done.